Um SURPRISE!
by Krunior-Rogan-Always
Summary: Emmett tries to distract Edward as Nessie and Jacob and come to think about it the whole family does something rather suspicious....especially Nessie and Jake. Doggy does trick!. ONE-SHOT


**Disclaimer; I own the story and nothing else.**

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"EMMETT!"

The dark haired vampire looked up from his drawing to see Edward barging into the living room fuming before he stopped directly in front of his brother.

"I SWEAR, IF YOU EVER SAY ANYTHING CONCERNING MY SEX LIFE WITH MY WIFE I'LL-"

"Gross, Dad!" Nessie exclaimed and scrunched up her nose as she walked pass her uncle and father to go up to her room with Jacob in tow.

Emmett smirked as Bella gave him the thumbs up behind Edward and Her and Alice sneaked out the front door when Nessie came half way down the stairs and gave her mother and aunt the thumbs up.

"Sorry Bro, what where you saying?" Emmett asked with a grin

"God, Bella is so pissed off at you right now, why the hell would you bring all that up, NOW!"

"Bring what up?" he asked innocently

"Don't act all innocent!, Bella gave me a lecture because of what you said and-"

-

All Emmett could hear was 'Blah, blah, blah, blah' so on and so on as his brother went on and on, completely oblivious as Alice and Bella carried a bed frame that looked extremely old, as if it was from Edward's era. Nessie guided them up the stairs as Jake held up the other end. Bella tripped and her face clashed into the frame, making Jake start laughing and therefore letting the frame go and fall on his foot, which actually did hurt concerning what type of material they where dealing with. Nessie shushed them and all of them snapped their heads towards Emmett who looked like he was going to die of laughter and Edward who thank God wasn't paying attention to the noise and kept yelling at Emmett.

Emmett raised his hand and swept it over his face before it sat over his mouth as he tried to look serious and not laugh hysterically. He nodded for good measure.

"Emmett!" Edward could finally be heard beyond the 'blah, blah, blahs' of Emmett's head "Are you listening!?"

"Of Course" Emmett replied and like before Edward's words resulted to 'blah, blah, blabbity blah' when Emmett continued to entertain himself as the four people behind Edward continued their actions.

Bella rubbed her nose before glaring at Jake who had once again taken the bottom of the bed frame and the top of the bedpost. Alice and Bella started pushing as Jake pushed and Nessie guided them. Nessie tripped over the top stair and flew backwards into the soft white carpet, Jake stumbled over Nessie and let go of the frame. The heaviness of the material used to make the frame weighed Bella and Alice down and they hastily tried to push it upwards but failed as they slid down the stairs with the frame. Jasper runs through the door and clashes with the bed frame, making a thunder like noise but raised it none the less. Unfortunately Jake was sitting with his legs on the stairs and his butt on the carpet watching the lost cause when the top of the frame crashed into a particularly sensitive area for a guy.

Nessie looked horrified as Jasper winced and Bella and Alice laughed whole heartedly.

Emmett gulped and winced at the same time as Jake's tears ran down his face. Emmett silently chocked on a laugh and turned back to Edward who had took to pacing in front of him while yelling.

"Honestly, what are you 2?" Edward broke through the blahness

"I really hope a two year old doesn't know half as much about that particular topic as I do"

"Don't be cute Emmett!" Edward yelled

"I'm not cute!" Emmett looked shocked before a smirk made it's way onto his face "I'm sexy!, too sexy. So sexy-" he interrupted himself and put his finger to his tongue before putting it on his chest and making a hissing burning sound "It hurts" he told Edward. Edward rolled his eyes and threw his hands in the air.

"You're hopeless!" he yelled and made to turn away but Rosalie, who had just come in as Jacob got back up and was joined by Jasper at the top of the stairs, pointed a finger at him and fixed her husband with a glare which said 'you better keep him busy!', before helping everyone with the frame.

Emmett threw him self on Edward before he could turn and hugged him while dry sobbing.

"Emmett…are you…are you _crying_!?" Edward asked surprised as he patted his brother on his back awkwardly "Err… there, there…"

"Oh Eddy!" Emmett cried falsely and received a thumbs up from Rosalie as she disappeared from view along with everyone else and the bed frame which you could now hear being moved into the master bedroom.

"Eddy!" Emmett wailed and grabbed onto his brother tighter "I just don't know what to do!, Rose wants a divorce!" He could faintly hear Rosalie giggle and Alice crack up.

Edward looked shocked and looked at the side of Emmett's face that was not buried into his jacket. He patted Emmett's back awkwardly again.

"It's okay, tell err_…__Eddy_-" Emmett smirked and pictured the cringe as Edward said 'Eddy' "all about it"

Emmett smiled and waved a little at Esme and Carlisle who had just entered with the pillows and mattresses. Esme's eyes widened and Carlisle waved awkwardly before both went up to the bedroom. Emmett continued to fake the dry sobbing as he pulled away from Edward and put his head in his hands.

"It's just-" _fake sob _"She met this new vampire!" _fake sob _"She says he's sexier and-" _fake sob _

_THUD! _

Edward's eyes snapped up to the ceiling as the thud was heard "What was that?"

Emmett panicked but quickly fake sobbed again "And bigger!" _fake sob _

_THUD!_

Edward stood and Emmett looked up as the even louder thud was heard. "AND LOUDER!" he yelled up as another Thud was heard and Edward looked at his with suspicion. Emmett threw in a fake sob "Eddy, I don't know what to do!" more fake sobbing.

Edward forgot momentarily about the thudding as he looked at what he thought was his brothers heart broken face.

"Aww, Em. She'll get over it-"

_THUD! _"Nessie!, Jesus, kill me why don't you!" Emmett heard Jacob whisper.

"She's going to forget about him sooner or later, there's no one, better then you-"

_THUD! _"Jake!, Oh My God!, that is so freaking big!" Nessie whispered

Emmett contained his laughter and let out another fake sob "Or sexier?"

Edward smiled and patted his brothers shoulder.

"Or sexier" he confirmed

_THUD! _"Does it even fit?, it's huge!" Nessie cried.

"What the hell?" Edward asked and looked up before looking at Emmett "Is that Nessie!?, and Jake!, did they go up there together!?" he screamed

_THUD! _"OUCH!, Jeez. That freaking hurt dude!" Nessie said from upstairs.

-

"OH MY GOD!, EMMETT WHAT KIND OF UNCLE ARE YOU!" Edward cried and raced up stairs only to find his wife standing in front of their bedroom door where a thud was just heard from.

Bella's eyes widened and she thought quick. Her legs wrapped around Edward as she jumped on him and made them collide into the wall.

"Let's have sex!" she said and pulled him into a deep kiss.

Edward pulled away. "Bella, what are-"

"No. No no no. No Bella's or what's or But's. Sex!, Sex Sex Sex!" she said and pulled him forward but he dropped her as another thud was heard and Jacob cursed.

Edward looked horrified and turned the door knob. "What the hell is going on…." he opened the door and looked at the scene that met him. Nessie and Jacob where moving the bed frame that he had inherited from his mother when she died of the influenza. It was probably the only one that there was today and it cost a fortune for his mom. Alice was holding the other side of the frame as Jasper and Rosalie looked on and Carlisle was halfway to ripping off all of the plastic on the new mattresses. Esme froze in place. Everyone looked at each other before they looked back as Edward and dropped what they where holding. Bella jumped in front of him.

"SURPRISE!" They all screamed simultaneously

"Happy anniversary Honey!" Bella yelled afterwords

Edward lifted an eyebrow and crossed his arms. "Our anniversary was two months ago"

Jacob rubbed the back of his neck and Edward's eyes landed on him "Happy…Birth…day?" The young werewolf asked.

"Nice try. What are you doing with my mother's bed frame?" His eyes went to Bella's who went to Jacob's who went to Nessie's.

Nessie stepped towards her father "Well, dad…can I call you daddy?" she stalled and Edward leaned against the door frame. "Uhh, you see, Jake and I sort of…broke it?"

Edward's eyes widened and became angered as he looked at Jake.

"Yeah, dude sorry, we totally…" he stepped back as Edward advanced on him "Totaled it" he squeaked out.

"And what exactly where you two doing on my bed, in my bed, with my BED!?"

"yeah, _about _that" Jake started

"JACOB!" Nessie screeched "we didn't do anything daddy!, promise. It's just that mom wanted to talk to us and we…" she searched her mind and turned to Jake and her mom "How _did _we break it?"

-

Edward turned to Bella with angered eyes "You knew they were-" he looked uncomfortable before doing a weird little movement and saying "Getting it on?"

Jasper snorted "Nice Ed" he repeated the movement Edward made but shut up as he was smacked with Alice's hand. He helped Carlisle put the mattresses on the bed and stepped back to continue to watch Edward.

"Edward!, I was standing right there!" she pointed at the spot next to her husband.

"YOU WATCHED THEM DO IT!?"

"NO!" Bella put her head in her hand "Oh god!, Look the point is the stupid frame broke and we made a new one that looks exactly like the old one only that now it's made with extremely expensive metal inside the wood which is made by a vampire so that it'll never break again!"

Edward looked stunned "You broke momma Mason's frame?" he whispered.

"No" Bella told him and pointed at Nessie "She did"

"MOM!"

"It's true!" Bella countered.

-

Jacob broke the long silence "Well look at it this way Eddy-"

"Don't call me Eddy"

"Papa Cullen"

"Jacob"

"Edward"

Edward glared at the werewolf.

"Mr. Cullen" Jake said and cleared his throat. He smiled again and jumped on the bed "Now you have a nice. Comfy. Be-AHHHHHH!"

_BOOM!_

_CRASH!_

_OUCH!_

"I'm okay!" They could faintly see Jacob wave his hand from downstairs as they looked at the large hole in the floor.

Bella laughed nervously and waved the air to get the dust out of her way.

"Tada!" she said and jumped up "The doggy did a trick!"

Edward shook his head and covered his face with his hand.

"MY LEG!"

_Oh god…Emmett!_

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_~Krunior-Rogan-Always~ a.k.a JB LOVA!!!!_


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